


The same question every week, just in a different way.

by Carokation



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies), Mission:Impossible Rogue Nation
Genre: BAMF!Benji, Benji whump, Benjiwhump, CIA, Ethan discovers his feelings for Benji, Fluff and Smut, Fluffy Feelings, Hunley is not nice, Hurt/Comfort, Interrogation, Lie Detector, M/M, Protective Ethan Hunt, Protective William Brandt, evil questioning methods, loyalty in question, weekly polygraph, where is Ethan Hunt?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:33:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24681610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carokation/pseuds/Carokation
Summary: What if, after weeks of Benji not giving away anything at all about Ethan during the lie detector sessions at the beginning of Rogue Nation, the CIA decides to try a more persuasive measure by using an upgraded lie detector on him, which gives him small electroshocks every time he is caught lying? And as they are suspecting that Benji has so far outwitted their detector, being an agent who has had training in how to do that, Hunley tries to subdue him by yet another measure?Later on, how will Brandt and Ethan react, when they find out (each seperately) what happened? And will they figure out the whole truth or just pieces of it? Read to find out!
Relationships: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt
Kudos: 67





	1. The weekly polygraph

“I´m going to ask you a series of control questions”, the weekly polygraph started usually. This time, however, things seemed to have taken a change for the worse. 

First, they sent him to a completely different room, a small one in the basement with no windows or even translucent glass walls like the majority of the rooms in the huge CIA building had. He never had been to that room before, he didn´t even know there was a room like this here at all. Well, he shouldn´t have been surprised, this was the CIA, after all. 

Also, he wasn´t greeted by friendly Cho Wang, instead by a short nod from a guy completely unknown to him, who then instantly went to set up the lie detector. Brandt, who during the sessions sometimes hung about at the back of the room, accompanying Hunley, was not present, either.

“Please strip to the waist,” he ordered him in a no-nonsense voice, looking straight into his eyes for the first time since Benji entered the room. “Excuse me?” Benji was thrown off by his request. He would consider it a joke, had the man not sounded so serious. 

“So that I can attach the additional electrodes to your skin,” the CIA employee elaborated shortly, making a hand gesture towards said equipment, indeed lying ready on the table near the detector, attached to its monitor in addition to the usual gear. 

Benji blinked his eyes nervously, he didn´t liked it one bit where this was going. The normal weekly polygraph was bad enough. True, so far, he had been able to outwit the lie detector, but it left him mentally exhausted every time and he feared the day he would slip and they would catch up on it. 

Nevertheless, it would be a bad idea to refuse. If he were lucky, he would just get a warning and threatened to be kicked out of his job, but he didn´t thought it unlikely that they would make his life a lot harder until he gave in and did it anyway, willingly or not. 

So, after a second of hesitation, he grinded his teeth together and got rid of his tie and shirt, setting them down nearby. He then sat on the chair, letting the man do his job of hooking him up to the detector and switched his focus on taking deep breaths and the most important task of relaxing his body, thinking of places he rather would be now and of pleasant memories, which would be able to ground him when difficult questions were asked. 

He waited impatiently for the inevitable control questions which were always done in the beginning. However, when everything was ready, Benji was told that they had to wait for Hunley before starting. While they waited, Benji was wondering why they were making such a fuss out of this session. Maybe some news about Ethan had popped up? But why waiting with the routine questions? It didn´t make any sense at all. 

It didn´t take long for the secretary to join them, so Benji had to stop his trail of thoughts and concentrate to be in the right state of mind of what was about to come. “Is he ready?” Hunley asked Mr. no name, ignoring the slightly nervous field agent apart from a quick glance. Well, his manners never had been especially nice in the last time, so Benji wasn´t surprised. “As ready as he can be, sir!” the addressed one answered. 

“Good,” was Hunley’s short answer. He then settled in a chair opposite of Benji and stared into his eyes with a serious expression, to underline his next message. “I´m going to tell you something important, so do not disrupt me, or you will regret it,” he started his monologue. Benji was frowning, but wisely kept silent for now, not wanting to deepen Hunley’s oblivious bad mood. 

“I want you to tell us no lies this time. Now don´t look at me like that, I´m not stupid you know. It´s obvious that you did not tell us everything in the past sessions it doesn´t exactly take a genius to see that, even if you did pass all the test yet.” He emphasised the last word heavily, taking a short breath before continuing his threatening lecture. 

“But you won´t get away so easy anymore. To achieve that, the lie detector you see here has been upgraded with an additional function which will only come into effect whenever a lie is detected. So, it’s simple, really: you don´t lie, you have nothing to fear. You understand that?” 

“That you will torture me with whatever your delightful extra function has in store every time I lie? Yes, I understood that perfectly,” Benji noted sarcastically, not liking this at all. “You do know that I have human rights, though? I just could say no to all this,” he couldn´t keep from adding.

“Yeah, you could,” Hunley admitted. “Sadly, that kind of neglecting our cooperation would mean I would be forced to strip you of your currently position and also to prevent you from ever having the possibility of becoming an active field agent again. Do you want that?” 

Benji chose not to answer this question in favour of looking really pissed. “I thought so.” Hunley stated way too cheerily. He gritted his teeth in response.

“Now, start with the control question, Thomson, and you, Dunn, keep in mind to only answer truthfully,” Hunley ordered, back to his no-nonsense voice. 

“Name?”, Thomson seemed to be a one-word kind of guy. “Benjamin Dunn,” he answered, not wanting to set off the surprise function (well, he could guess the outcome, electrodes could only do so much) quite so quickly, instead of his usual witty response like “the king of Norway”.

After he correctly answered four more simple minded questions, Hunley cut in, clearly losing patience: “Has Hunt contacted you?” Benji was lucky, this question he could answer without even trying to lie: “No, he didn´t, same as last time or any of the other nine times you asked me that.” He put as much annoyance as he could muster into these words, making it sound like the very idea itself was ridiculous.

Hunley leaned further forwards in his seat, a clear sign that the next one would be a critical question which he was really interested in. Benji took a deep breath in advanced and pictured the office to be a tropical beach and Hunley in front of him sweating and being bright red from having a sunburn and wearing nothing but a ridiculous swimming trunk with little pineapples on it, while the table between them bore colourful cocktails instead of a detector and monitor. 

“But you wish he had? Surely you miss him being around?” Benji stared defensively into Hunley’s eyes, deciding the tactic to just answer the first question, but only half of the truth of it: “I certainly don´t!” In his head, he silently added ´yeah, sure, I totally want him to be here now, so he can get arrested by your folks! As if! ´

Since Hunley still locked doubtful, he needed to add something more concrete, without actually meaning what he said. Well, the best way to do that was to just imaging that Hunley had asked him if he missed someone really annoying instead of Ethan, say, a bully from back when he studied, a self-centred guy who seemed to thing he was better than anyone in the world: 

“There wasn´t a day I missed him! You may think I will start running after him as soon as I hear so much as a hint about his whereabouts. Well, that´s not true! I have no kind of any obligation to him and his current location couldn´t mean less to me!”

Hunley seemed to be momentarily stunned by this outbreak, but regained his confidence quickly. He turned to his subordinate: “You are sure this is working?” he asked him, gesturing to the electrodes attached to Benji´s chest. “Positive, sir!” Hunley sighted, regardless of Agent Dunn´s seemingly legitimately accurate and quite emotional argumentation he just had a feeling that he was still making a fool of him or at least keeping some information of importance from him. Maybe he still needed another trick to get him talking…

Grudgingly, he turned back to the blonde: “See you back here next week, Dunn. Try to not get into trouble until then.” 

“I never woul…ah! Shit!” Benji couldn´t keep himself from crying out as the device linked to him registered his unguarded lie and sent a small but rather painful electroshock trough his body halfway through the last word. Hunley just grinned devilishly in response, rising one eyebrow mockingly at him before walking out of the small room.

“Damn, that really hurt!” Benji protested to no one in particular, but Thomson ignored him anyway, dispatching the lie detector in silence. 

Just when he was safely back at his working place, Benji allowed himself to sight loudly, absentmindedly rubbing the irritated patch of skin on his chest.

A week later, it started nearly the same, just that he was asked to drink a glass filled with what looked like water and smelled like something alcoholic. “Why should I drink that?” Benji asked, as soon as Hunley entered the room, pointing to the unknown liquid on the table in front of him.

“You remember the consequences when you fail to cooperate, I told you last time? Well, there you have your answer! But be assured, it is absolutely safe to drink this, it´s not much different from a cocktail, so really you should thank us for the free drink.” Benji looked sceptically at the beverage, considering his choice. 

“If you don´t believe me, I could take a sip,” Hunley added generously. “Uh, no thanks,” Benji wasn´t quite having the relationship with Hunley to share a drink with him. “To hell with it,” he mumbled quietly, before downing the liquor. It was indeed tasting like a cocktail, a really strong one though, and artificially fruity in taste. He coughed, his throat burning from the high percentage alcohol. 

While Hunley and Thomson settled down in their chairs, Benji was having trouble to sustain his usual state of calmness required for the polygraph. The alcohol was making itself noticing quite strongly, which made him wonder how strong that drink really had been. He normally wasn´t getting drunk easily, but it felt like that one single drink nearly did the job since his head was feeling quite hot and he was having a hard job of concentrating on anything. Damn, that must be exactly the reason why he had to drink it, Benji thought desperately. 

It would definitely be much harder to lie convincingly now. And while he thankfully didn´t know Ethan´s whereabouts, he really didn´t wanted Hunley or anyone for that matter to know the extensive amount of loyalty, trust and friendship he was feeling towards him. Much less the things he was willing to do, if Ethan would ask him. Like how he would travel to the end of the world for him, no matter how hazardous the way and how difficult it was to get there. 

They were taking their time getting him through the routine questions. It seemed to Benji that Hunley wanted to make sure the alcohol was properly doing its job before starting to bombard him with questions. Finally, after the last tedious query, asked by his assistant, he leaned forwards facing Benji with his grey blue eyes, saying “Where is Ethan Hunt?”, emphasizing every single word for good measure.

“I don´t know!” Benji answered likewise, staring back angrily. Hunley leaned back again, tilting his head slightly, considering Benji´s apparently unexpected answer. 

“Well, well, so he isn´t quite as depending on you as I thought,” Hunley sighted. “Or he is using other means to get help,” he was thinking loudly. “Did he ask you to hack something or do any kind of job for him? Finding out some information, maybe?” 

Now it was Benji´s turn to lean forward: “He did not ask me for any single job since the day he vanished, not for information nor for any hacking or programming or whatever you have in mind. And to answer your next question, he did not, in any way, contact me ever since!” he was getting louder towards the end of his monologue, nearly screaming at the end, but alas, that was the alcohols fault. Or maybe, just maybe, he was a little bit disappointed by that fact. 

But Hunley seemed to be feel likewise. He narrowed his eyes, angry wrinkles appearing on his forehead. This interrogation didn´t go anywhere he wanted so far. Then, he seemed to think of something, making him smile a little bit even. Benji didn´t liked the look of that. 

“Did you wanted to be contacted by him?” he asked slyly. Benji pressed his lips together, not wanting to answer that in fear of being electroshocked. Sadly, that only seemed to confirm Hunley’s hunch. “Do you miss him?”, he asked next, leaning forward once again. Benji panicked, driven by alcohol. “No!” he tried answering calmly and steadily, aiming to trick the detector, but failing. The resulting shock made him gasp in pain, sending a current of pain into his gut. 

“Now we´re making progress,” Hunley grinned, clearly satisfied. At the very least, he just got the confirmation of Dunn´s friendship with Hunt. Damn it, Benji thought angrily, he had to pull himself together quickly. If that only worked right now… Maybe he should play sick. Yeah, as if that would work either, he thought glumly. “Where is Ethan, when you need him?”, a subdued voice inside him added sadly. Benji fought to chase his feelings away and to stay calm. 

“Now, whom are you more loyal to, Ethan or the CIA?” the next question sounded. He was so screwed… 

“I´m loyal to those who make the right decisions, who try to make the world a better and safer place for all people,” Benji tried to bypass the question. “That´s not what I asked,” Hunley stated, waiting for his real answer. 

“But that´s the important thing, isn´t it?” Benji protested. “Not who is calling the shots, but what you stand for and believe in and how you execute what is necessary. What has to be done. And when to stop and not go any further.” Benji started one of his trademark rambles. “Not which company or boss you work for, but the message that lays behind your actions. The responsibility you have towards others and for the things you do. I have never run away from that responsibility and I have always tried to do my best and everything that´s necessary to fulfil my missions and, in the end, save the world. Can anyone ask for more than that? You haul me in here every week, asking me the same question, just in a different way, but you never ask the right ones,” he finished wearily, slightly slurring his words, sitting more and more slumped over in his chair, tired from both the session and the unwilling consumption of a so called cocktail. 

“Still not answering my question. Well, I´ve got my answer then, I presume. It seems very obvious that you are still loyal to Hunt more than to the CIA or even the former IMF. The question is, can the CIA keep someone devoted to a mole and traitor? I don´t think so. But, since I´m not an evil person, I´m giving you one more change to answer correctly and thus, keep your job.” He took a deep breath, during which Benji steeled himself.

“Do you accept working for the CIA and solely for the CIA, to execute all orders given to you promptly and carefully and renounce any future orders, should you receive them, given by your former team leader, Ethan Hunt?” 

Benji tried, he really tried to pull through with his last lie, not wanting to lose his current position, tiresome as it might be. He mostly didn´t want to lose the opportunity of eventually making contact with Ethan, who would still assume him to be under the roof of the CIA. Benji knew that Ethan would be clever enough to smuggle some kind of message to him right under the CIA´s nose, if he wanted to. And he wanted to be there when that happened. He needed to be there. For Ethan.

“Yes.”

Benji mentally prepared for the pain, but it never came. Uh, so his fear-surged super focus really worked this time… Now Hunley would hopefully give him another change.

“Are you sure?” Hunley wanted another confirmation from Dunn. “Yeah,” Benji looked him in the eyes, I´m sure I want to stay here!” At least until Ethan needs me somewhere else, he silently added. 

“Hm,” Hunley emitted. Benji could nearly see the gears in his head circling, he bet that he was already regretting the promise he just made to him.

“See you next week,” Hunley finally voiced after an awkward pause, rushing to his feet and leaving the room in a hurry. Benji released a breath he wasn´t even aware he had held, while Thomson started unstrapping him, making a face as if he was trying to hide a smile. So, he wasn´t that fond on Hunley´s actions either? Benji momentarily wondered what bonus the latter had promised him to assist him with his dubious questioning methods and keeping them secret. 

Unfortunately, as soon as he was free to go and shakily stood up, dizziness aroused in him stronger than expected, so all his thoughts turned to making it to the next toilet stall without puking on the way there.

Five minutes later, he was splashing water over his face, beholding the sickly pallor of his skin in the mirror over the sink. He was glad that it was late enough on a Friday to pack his stuff and go home, he didn´t wanted to stay here a minute longer than necessary after that dreadful polygraph session. At home, he would at least be able to cross another week of work off his calendar (a habit he started when being ingulfed by the CIA) and indulge in some more gaming, continuing his interrupted halo gameplay session from earlier, without watching out for nosy colleges and bosses coming his way.


	2. The truth

Part 1: Brandt 

“Benji!” Brandt hissed after looking around and making sure no one else was in the area, when he stumbled upon Benji in the kitchen, sipping from a fresh cup of tea. Benji nearly chocked on his tea, surprised by his sudden approach. “What the heck, Brandt?” he sputtered. 

Brandt sat down on the chair opposing him, leaning closer before speaking in a low voice. “Have you been questioned by Hunley the last couple of weeks?” 

Benji blinked, the last six times where the ones where Hunley started using electroshocks, a method which he, in a conversation shortly after the first time afterwards, made absolutely clear to keep quiet about. But of course, he could just leave out that detail as well as the fact that he was additionally drugging him with alcohol ever since after the second of those sessions.

“Yeah, I still have my weekly polygraph, why?” 

“I was just wondering… Something didn´t feel right. I wasn´t asked by Hunley to join him for a while now, which is strange. And I didn´t see you in the office room once at the usual time. The one where he´s doing the tests, I mean. And now Cho said there were no polygraphs in the last weeks, at least none with which she assisted.” Brandt told him.

“Oh. Well, he chose someone else to assist. And for the place, he changed that too. Probably so he had a shorter walking route,” Benji shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. 

Brandt knitted his forehead in thought, considering Benji´s answer. “Ok, so it wasn´t because you… I mean, you didn´t hear anything from… from Jupiter, did you?” He was using Ethan´s code name from their mission in Dubai. 

Benji opened his mouth, outraged by what Brandt was implying. 

“No! Of course not! I didn´t hear anything from Jupiter and even if, do you honestly think I would give it away?”

“Whoa, don´t be mad at me.” Brandt lifted his hands in a defensive gesture. “I trust you, I was just unnerved by the radio silence, I guess. I´m sorry. I should´ve know better that. I guess you have more nerves than me,” he admitted, looking slightly ashamed.

Benji sighted, still pissed but he guessed that he would be unsettled to, if it was the other way round. 

“I wouldn´t ever, just to make that clear. Hunley can use electrosho.. ahem lie detectors all he wants, I won´t tell a thing,” he hastily tried to cover his mistake. 

Brandt opened his mouth in shock, hoping that he didn´t hear what he thought he was hearing. “What was that last word?!” he insisted to know. “Thing?” Benji nervously supplied. “No, the word you said before correcting yourself. You weren´t gonna say electroshocks, were you?” he asked in an unbelieving tone. Benji bit on his lip, looking down. 

“Jesus,” Brand looked at Benji, appalled by the revelation. “Are you ok?”

“I´m fine!” Benji answered immediately, maybe a little too quickly. 

“I can´t allow this to continue!” Brandt hissed angrily, standing up from his seat, ready to go straight to Hunley to demand from him to stop this insanity. 

“No!” Benji stopped him by grabbing his arm. “You can´t tell anyone!” he whisper-screamed. “And now let us go someplace else outside this building, we need to talk properly!”

Brandt hovered, thinking quickly. “Ok, as you want. In 20 minutes at the last place we´ve met.” 

They went their separate ways, before meeting in a Mexican restaurant not far away but also not too close to the CIA building. Because of the relatively high noise level, it was easy to talk there without being overheard. When Brandt entered and sat on the seat opposing him, Benji had already prepared his speech.

“You have to keep your distance or Hunley will know that you´re on my side. Which ultimately means Ethan´s side! Stay away from me as much as you can or Hunley will start questioning you the same way! And when that happens, you can bet he won´t let you participate in any more of his searching operations.” 

Brandt hesitated, torn between standing up for Benji and keeping a low profile for the sake of more insight in Hunley´s work. “Benji… You´re basically getting tortured. Are you sure you can keep going like that? It isn´t getting to much?”

“I´m sure. Don´t worry about me, it´s not as bad as it sounds. I´m hardly ever caught lying and it´s just small shocks, nothing too painful, hardly worth mentioning,” Benji tried to reassure Brandt. 

Brandt was still looking unsure, frowning his forehead. “But you will tell me if it gets worse?” he was looking closely into Benji´s eyes to make sure the other field agent (he still pictured himself as one) told him the truth. He was very aware of how well trained Benji had become in lying after the past four months, after all.

“I will,” Benji assured him firmly looking into Brandt´s blue eyes while thinking that it couldn´t possibly get much worse. Luckily, Brandt knew only half of the story and Benji fully intended to keep it that way. 

Part 2: Ethan

"Hey, Benji, come in! How are you?” Ethan greeted his younger team member, stepping aside to let him enter his humble apartment. 

After they had been working pretty close together the last couple of weeks and having established an even closer link then before, he wanted to keep seeing him on a more regular basis, not only to enjoy his rare free time in between missions with him, but also to make sure he was alright after what happened to him in London. While he knew that it wasn´t his fault that Benji had been kidnapped, he still felt responsible since he was the one to draw Benji in that whole mess with Lane to begin with. 

“Oh, I´m fine, same old Benji, and you? Any news from headquarters?” He asked him while sitting down on a rather short sofa. “I´m good, too,” Ethan replied, leaning casually against the wall nearby. “Actually, yeah, I have some good news,” he went on, stepping closer to Benji while talking. 

“Hunley, with some help from Brandt, managed to reinstate the IMF!” Ethan told his blonde friend excitedly. “He also is becoming the new IMF secretary,” he added cheerily. 

“Oh.” Benji´s answer wasn´t nearly as enthusiastic as Ethan expected it to be. 

“Something wrong with that?” Ethan asked after a few awkward seconds, in which Benji was just staring in the air ahead of him.  
“No, no it´s good. I mean, I wouldn´t have chosen Hunley as the new secretary, but I guess it´s better than being disavowed,” he said in a dull tone. 

“You wouldn’t have chosen Hunley? Why? I mean, yes, he did some wrongs, like searching for me instead of the bad guys, but that was before we could convince him that the syndicate really exists. Now that he knows, he´s on our side. And he did what he thought was best from his perspective, you can´t really blame him for that.” 

Benji snored loudly at that and shook his head in disgust. “If you think he´s a good doer now, just because he´s on our side, you´re wrong! You don´t know him. He´s just taking the winner´s side, that´s all. Every half-wit would do the same,” he concluded, his voice getting louder and more agitated.

Ethan looked thoughtfully at Benji, who was now bearing a somewhat painful expression. Clearly, he had to change his tactic. Maybe if he knew why Benji was so affronted, he might be able to heal the rift. 

“I just don´t understand why you seem to hate Hunley? He did a lot for the IMF in the end. If not for him, I don´t know if we would´ve been reinstated at all!” Ethan tried reasoning with Benji, using a soothing voice.

Benji stood up from the sofa, no longer calm enough to just sit there. “I don´t hate him, I just don´t like him. He isn´t all nice, after all!”

“You mean because of the polygraphs you had to do for him? Answering a few questions couldn´t have been that bad. He could´ve done far worse.” Ethan stopped leaning against the wall, taking up a position directly across from Benji. He didn´t understand why the younger agent was still making such a fuss. 

“It wasn´t just answering questions!” Benji lost it completely now, “he was fucking drugging me. And he upgraded the polygraph so that it would electroshock me for every lie!” he screamed, looking Ethan hard in the eye and trembling slightly from his outrage. 

The following shocked silence after Benji´s outbreak seemed to go on for hours. Ethan, standing there with his mouth open, was deeply disturbed from hearing what Benji had been through while he had been happily leaving wrong clues for Hunley´s people, all the while having no idea how his very best friend was suffering. 

Meanwhile, Benji´s face was slowly losing its angry red colour, leaving him looking pale instead. His trembling slowly subsided, and at some point, he stopped staring into Ethan´s eyes, looking down instead. His tightly closed mouth, hunched shoulders and the lines of his forehead showed he was still very tense, though. He most certainly hadn´t planned to blast the news like this.

“My god, Benji,” Ethan eventually broke the silence. “I´m so sorry, I had no idea… How could he do this?” he finally understood Benji´s disapproval of Hunley. 

He made a shaky step closer towards Benji, gently dragging him down on the sofa with him. They both needed to get their breaths back and Benji should definitely sit for the next part. He needed to know the full story. 

“What did he drug you with?” he couldn´t hold back the question any longer. 

Benji took a deep breath before speaking. “Something alcoholic. Can´t tell you the exact ingredients, though. It did make me drunk and slightly sick,” he added, knowing that Ethan wouldn´t rest until he had full details.

Ethan had to take several deep breaths to compose his ever growing feeling of outrage. He would have a hard time not killing Hunley the next time he saw him, he thought while clenching his teeth together. 

Benji nervously awaited his next question. Ethan rested his hand on Benji´s knee to calm him, not wanting to upset him any further. 

“And the shocks? How bad were they?”

Benji smiled at him weakly, “Not too bad. They could have been much worse, I think.” Ethan looked doubtfully. 

“Sure, it wasn´t pleasant and yeah, they hurt a bit, but really I´ve been through worse,” he added.

Ethan frowned, still not happy. Benji tended to underrate things. “On a scale from 1 to 10 how much did it hurt?” he asked him in his most serious tone. Benji bit his lip before answering “uhm, I dunno, maybe like 7?” he sounded abashed. 

“So more like 8,” Ethan stated, watching Benji with care. The latter just shrugged his shoulders. 

“It´s in the past, so don´t stress yourself over it too much. It´s not your fault anyway.” He tried to sooth Ethan, who shook his head in response, feeling like it was indeed very much his fault. 

“Hunley did this to you because of me. He only put you through this because he knew we had been working closely together before I vanished. Because he knew I trusted you with my life.”

Now it was Benji´s turn to shake his head. “Was it you who put those electrodes on me? Was it you who ask me the same question every week? Because as far as I know, it wasn´t. It´s. Not. Your. Fault!” he emphasised every world like spelling it out for an idiot and accompanied this by likewise putting his hand on Ethan´s left knee, which was doing wonders for calming said nerves.

Ethan blinked, touched by how insistent Benji was defending him. He once more marvelled at that golden heart of Benji, which was so hard to find in their field of work, especially among active field agents. He couldn´t love him more for it. 

He also couldn´t help but notice how beautiful his eyes were, watching him so intensely this very moment. Benji had kind of hero-worshiped him from the start and Ethan didn´t fail to notice the little crush he had on him, but for the first time, he truly realised that he did return the feeling. Led by impulse, Ethan leaned even closer to Benji, watching him for any signs of rejection or disapproval but seeing none. Instead, Benji seemed to enjoy the closeness: his pupils dilating as he also leaned further towards him, so that there was hardly any space left between their faces and he could faintly feel his breath every time he exhaled.

“I believe you,” Ethan eventually more breathed than said, before he finally closed the rest of the distance, capturing Benji´s soft lips with his own very tenderly.

Benji´s eyes widened even more and he opened his mouth a bit in surprise, which Ethan used to give even more into the kiss, while still keeping it gentle, which required more restraint, than he ever thought. Not a moment later though, Benji overcame his shock and deepened the kiss himself, which was exactly what Ethan needed as a confirmation. 

Now he couldn´t keep himself back any longer and they both got really into it, Ethan putting his arm around Benji and the latter running his hand through his longish hair, feeling it´s soft texture. 

“Ethan,” Benji moaned, his eyes fluttering, making the older agent shiver with pleasure and delight. 

His pants felt very tight now and he urged to take them off, while wanting to keep nibbling on Benji´s delicate lips. His hands started wandering around at their own accounts. “Benji, I want you,” he moaned into the young agent’s mouth, syllables hardly distinguishable, but Benji seemed to understand him perfectly, pushing back momentarily to take off his shirt in a rush, looking at Ethan demandingly which he took as a sign to do likewise. 

His chest was just about bare when Benji started to lick it, making Ethan gasp in pleasure. The blonde was laying halfway on top of him now, supporting himself with one arm so as to not fall off the sofa. He clearly felt his arousement. Ethan had a feeling they needed to change their location soon… But for now, he shamelessly enjoyed being devoured with wet kisses by the most beautiful man in the world. 

After making sure every inch of Ethan´s chest was covered in kisses, each one more urgent than the last, Benji pulled him towards the ground, making them both roll over the carpet in one entangled mess. “Bedroom?” he asked in the most husky and seductive voice Ethan ever heard him using, making the hairs on his arms stand up from the most pleasurable shiver. “God, yes,” he replied needily, making Benji´s blue-grey eyes shine with delight. 

Standing up, he pulled Benji with him, leading him towards his bedroom, while still clinging to each other closely. They more stumbled then walked through the door and then landed heavily on the bed. “You really want this?” Ethan asked Benji, not wanting to pressure him into anything. “You have no idea how much I want this,” Benji answered earnestly, looking deep into Ethan´s eyes. “And now quit talking and get rid of your pants instead,” he ordered him blatantly. 

It seemed that Benji enjoyed ordering Ethan around for a change – and it certainly turned him on. If he could be any more turned on then he already was… Ethan had no doubt that this would turn into one of the hottest nights of his life and he definitely would remember this forever.

They made short process with the rest of their clothes and Ethan used the opportunity to conjure up condoms and lube out of his bedside table. Benji regarded Ethan with a hungry look as he saw the items, watching him expectantly.

“What do you want me to do?” Ethan whispered into his ear, nibbling on his cute little ear-lobe. Normally so cool and self-assured, he was feeling a bit unsure in this situation as he never had been with a man before. “I want to feel you inside of me,” Benji whispered back in his sexy husky voice, snuggling closer to get more skin-to-skin contact. 

Ethan kissed Benji´s neck, making him sight in pleasure, before wrapping his dick in a condom and dipping his fingers in lube. He then carefully started to prepare Benji by first massaging his opening and the muscles around it which led Benji to moan in anticipation, making him want to speed up the progress a bit. 

When he entered a first finger, and soon after a second, carefully widening Benji´s tight opening, he felt the blonde shutter and moan more loudly each time he added a finger or hit his sweet spot. He thoroughly enjoyed the sound of that, wanting to make him moan louder. His dick was throbbing painfully by now, whining for attention, but he needed to make sure Benji was prepared soundly.

When he finally entered him with his dick, the first push made them both gasp and moan loudly. He slowly took up speed, making Benji shout out his name in the most beautiful way. A sweet shiver went through him and he felt his orgasm building up, making him tighten his grip on Benji and utter his name breathlessly. He wanted them to come together, so he grabbed Benji´s dick, massaging it as he once more picked up speed. Benji gasped loudly. “Ethan,” he moaned loudly, “I´m gonna come.” 

This was all it needed to sent both of them over the edge at nearly the same time: Ethan cried out Benji´s name as his orgasm hit him, Benji followed right up, spilling his come over Ethan’s hand.

Afterwards, when Ethan had carefully pulled out his now softened dick, got rid of the condom and sloppily wiped off his hand on the bed linen (which he would change later anyway), they kept lying on the bed side to side, facing each other with eyes sparkling in joy from their shared experience. Ethan gingerly took Benji´s hand, stroking it gently. The way Benji looked at him was love-struck and so adorable it made Ethan´s heart melt. He never wanted to leave his side again. 

This had been the best sex he experienced in a very long time, comparable only to when he´ve had sex with Julia, but honestly even better than that. Not that he didn´t loved Julia back in the day and even now still in a way loved her from afar, but somehow the newfound love he felt for Benji, who looked up to him from the start and was such a brilliant and warm hearted and adorable creature, was so explosive and intense, it made him feel like a newborn man. It felt like he was suddenly capable of feeling stronger and purer than he thought was possible. 

And Benji was the one person in the world able to do that to him. He loved just everything about him, from his unique humour to the crinkles around his eyes. 

He wondered why he didn´t realised those feelings way earlier. Maybe it was because he never really considered the possibility that he might love a man. He hadn´t even known that it was possible to be generally attracted to women but to also love one and only one man. 

But now that he was the wiser, he would do everything in his power to keep Benji safe. He logically knew he couldn´t possibly keep any harm of the world from him, not with them being active field agents and doing missions, one more dangerous than the other. But he would try anyway. After all, if there were someone to try the impossible, it was him and his team. 

With one more caring look over Benji, who was already asleep, looking considerably more peaceful than he had in a long time, Ethan closed his eyes and also drifted off into dreamland, still holding Benji´s hand in his own.


End file.
